Posts made in May, 2015

5 Damaging Assumptions We Make in Our Relationships

»Posted by on May 25, 2015 in Alpha Blog | 0 comments

5 Damaging Assumptions We Make in Our Relationships

Each of us makes assumptions in our relationships. These assumptions might originate from outside sources, like the media and our family and friends, which “have been taken out of context, misread or blown out of proportion,” said Ashley Thorn, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah. These assumptions also might arise from not directly discussing our thoughts and feelings with our partners, asking enough questions or listening to them, she said. Assumptions take a serious toll on relationships. “[Y]ou’re basically deciding a thought you’re having is ‘fact’ when you don’t have all the information.” This can lead to poor decision-making, she explained. Assumptions also don’t let partners share their side. Assumptions...

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How to Relinquish Unrealistic Expectations

»Posted by on May 25, 2015 in Alpha Blog | 0 comments

How to Relinquish Unrealistic Expectations

All of us hold unrealistic expectations. In fact, the biggest unrealistic expectation is that people shouldn’t have unrealistic expectations, according to Miranda Morris, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist in Bethesda, Md. “It’s part of the human experience.” But this doesn’t mean unrealistic expectations are healthy. Quite the opposite. They can chip away at our relationships, shut down our goals and even steer our lives in an unhealthy direction. “Unrealistic expectations are potentially damaging because they set us and others up for failure,” said Selena C. Snow, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist in Rockville, Md. When we or someone else naturally falls short, we draw false conclusions, feel negative feelings and act in negative ways, she said. Snow...

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5 High-Stress Family Situations & How to Deal with Them

»Posted by on May 24, 2015 in Alpha Blog | 0 comments

5 High-Stress Family Situations & How to Deal with Them

During times of stress, our personal coping resources, and consequently our parenting skills, may need a boost — or a break. A separation or divorce, an illness or death, moving, or even a financial issue like a home foreclosure can result in a storm of feelings for kids and parents alike. Our unique perception and reaction to an event, and our personal coping resources, cause a stress response. Two people experiencing the same situation may cope very differently. One may feel intense mental or emotional tension while the other experiences only a slight bump in the road. When parenting during times of high stress, keep in mind that stress may affect your child very differently from how it affects you as a parent. Just as parenting coping resources may be...

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Children of Alcoholics

»Posted by on May 24, 2015 in Alpha Blog | 0 comments

Children of Alcoholics

More than 28 million Americans have seen at least one parent suffer alcohol’s serious adverse effects, leading to serious family problems. More than 78 million Americans, or 43 percent of the adult population, has been exposed to alcoholism in the family, according to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependency. For decades, efforts at understanding and treating alcoholism have focused primarily on alcoholics and the havoc this disease has brought to their lives. Later, groups such as Al-Anon and Alateen examined the effects that alcoholism had on the relatives and friends of alcoholics. Most recently, national Children of Alcoholics groups have drawn considerable attention to this subject. Five years ago, there were only 21 members of the National...

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Overanalyzing? Here is why.

»Posted by on May 24, 2015 in Alpha Blog | 0 comments

Overanalyzing? Here is why.

One of the most employed tools in dealing with fear and anxiety is overanalyzing or overthinking. Typically when we try to make our mind about something or make a decision that has the potential to impact us negatively we panic (afraid of the consequences), become more controlling about the problem at stake, and eventually attempt to fend off danger by intensely focusing our attention on the occurring possibilities (also known as overthinking or overanalyzing). And yes, we drive ourselves mad in the process and the miracle solution never seems to come along. While overthinking is a very common strategy (lots and lots of people employ it) it is also a very unhelpful tool and a defense system meant to give us the illusion of control while wreaking havoc in the...

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