Is Your Marriage Abusive?

» Posted by on Dec 16, 2016 in Alpha Blog | 0 comments

Is Your Marriage Abusive?

It is true that every marriage or relationship has it’s own set of issues and fair share of arguments. It is also true sometimes spouses don’t “fight fair”, meaning that they may say things purely out of anger or even say things that can be very hurtful. But when does  aruguing turn into emtional abuse? Physical abuse in a marriage is often easier to identify than emotional abuse, but emotional abuse can be just as damaging. The first step to stopping or reparing emotional abuse is identifying it.  Here are some signs that you may want to seek help for your relationship:

  1. One partner refuses to come to a resolution. Rather than looking for a solution or trying to come to an agreement, in emotionally abusive realtionships one side tends to continue the disagreement, without actually trying to find a solution. Often times, even after an agreement has been reached an emotional abuser tends continue to bring up the argument, rehash the situation and continue argumentative efforts for days or even weeks. An emtoional abuser tends to want to “win” rather than to mend the situation.
  2. One partner thinks that they have the right to make all decisions. A strong sign of  an emotional abusive relationship can be that one of the partners consistently thinks that they should have the final say in all matters. They feel like they are the leader of the relationship and that the partner should follow what they say without question. The abusive partner typically gets very angry if the other parnter questions them or gives them input.
  3. One partner has a pattern that breaks down the other side. An emotionally abusive partner often follows the same pattern when they aren’t getting their way, or just when they need to have their control validated. They will often be cold, distant, or react angrily to the other partner for no apparent reason. When the partner finally takes the bait and asks what they have done wrong, the abuser will begin to break their partner down by telling them all of the things that they have done wrong and how everything is their fault.  The ultimate goal of the abuser is to make their partner understand that they are in control of the relationship and that as long as the partner does what they are told, there won’t be further issues.
  4. The victim of the abuse starts to believe that everything is their fault. If the abuser is effective, the other partner will begin to believe that they are causing all the problems. This happens through the continual breakdown of the partner overtime. An abuser will often not show their true colors or start abusive behavior until the relationship is already fairly serious.

If you feel like you may be part of an abusive relationship and need help, we have licensed therapists available to help you. Contact us today!


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