Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

» Posted by on Aug 10, 2017 in Alpha Blog | 0 comments

Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

It is common when entering a new relationship for one or both people involved to have doubts or concerns about their new commitment. While having concerns is normal, there are some signs that are actually big red flags that continuing this relationship may not be a good idea. Here is a quick list of some of the signs that may be an indication to take a step back or  slow down.

  • THE PAST IS STILL IN THE PRESENT. This is one of the most obvious and annoying red flags that can pop up in new relationships. If there is baggage that is being dragged into your current realtionship from a previous relationship, that is a good sign that the timing of the relationship is off. Communicating, talking about, or still sharing assets with an ex can be a big sign that the other person is not ready to be in a relationship with you. If you or your new partner feel that it is important to stay in communication with an ex, that can be a sign that you need to get closure with that relationship before starting a new one. Otherwise, the baggage will continue to intefere with your new relationship. Keep in mind co-parenting is important and is not detrimental to your relationship. Communicating with an ex about children is not only important it is crucial to the well-being of your children.
  • FINANCIAL INSTABILITY. Finances can really put a damper on a new relationship if both people are not on the same page. It’s important to understand that while the income, or amount of money made will generally not be the same between two partners, the way that the money is used shuold match up. Two partners who plan on building a relationship and possibly a life together need to be on the same page about how they plan on spending or saving their money. Not being upfront and honest about the way that one manages their money can lead to major problems in the future. If your new partner has very different views on how they want to handle finances, this may be a roadblock in the future. It is important for you to talk openly about expectations and habits.
  • MAJOR TRUST ISSUES. New relationships can be tricky when it comes to trust. Sometimes people give trust too quickly and get hurt, and other times people can’t give a new person their trust. Not trusting a new partner can be extremely detrimental to a relationship. If you or your new partner cannot trust one another, or have suspcions that aren’t based on any real facts, you should try to resolve it ASAP. Not trusting a partner can leave you feeling like an investigator and never feeling secure in your relationship which is very emotionally and mentall draining. Likewise, always being questioned or doubted by a partner can leave you feeling defensive and constantly defending yourself, which is just as exhausting. No matter what side of it you are on, having a trust issue can make being in a new relationship hard if not impossible. If you are the one who can’t seem to trust, you may want to focus on working through it and possibly reaching out for help from a therapist. If you are the one who is being questioned, there isn’t much you can do, especially if thedistrust is unfounded. If you or your partner can’t work through the mistrust, it is best to walk away.
  • ISOLATION FROM OTHERS.  It isn’t uncommon for a new couple to want to spend as much time together as possible. Everything is new and exciting and there seems to be no one else that either one would rather spend time with. However, if one side starts feeling the need to not spend time with other friends or loved ones, this could be a sign that the relationship is unbalanced. If your partner is saying negative comments about people you care about, or makes you feel guilty for spending time with others, it’s likely time to take a breath and review the relationship. Keeping ties with outside support systems is imperative in a healthy relationship. It’s inevitable that at some point in your relationship there will be issues, and having an outside source of support is so important. Additionally, if a partner is pressuring or hinting to you that you shouldn’t be close to others in your life it could be a sign that they are controlling. Isolation is often the first step of abuse in a relationship, so if you feel like this is happening, get help immediately.

While this list is very condensed, these are some of the most common issues that new relationships may face. If you are concerned about your relationship or are seeing any warning signs, speaking with a professional can help. At Alpha Counseling and Treatment we have licensed therapists and counselors that can help you sort out what can be fixed or what may be a sign to walk away.

 

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