The Only Resolution You Need in 2016!

» Posted by on Jan 5, 2016 in Alpha Blog | 0 comments

The Only Resolution You Need in 2016!

It’s that time of year again! A time to reflect on the past 365 days, and set out goals and expectations for the next year. Like most people, you probably have a long list of things that you plan to improve this year, or goals that you may have fell short of completing last year that you intend to meet this year. Resolutions can be a positive motivator and can help you identify the things that you want to improve in your life.

Unfortunately many resolutions are left behind within the first few months- or weeks- of the new year. That’s not to say that your intentions aren’t good, they are of course. And it’s not to say that you didn’t make a good fair attempt at change. It’s just that something always seems to throw you off track, and you never seem to get back on track.

There is one underlying reason why most people cannot follow through with their resolutions or goals in general.  That reason is, they don’t think that they deserve it. That sounds silly of course, but it is the truth behind the reason for failure for most people. But it’s true! If you can change this one thing, all other resolutions will fall into place-which is amazing!

Think about it. Your friend makes a resolution to “lose weight, exercise, and start eating right”. That sounds great! She is going to feel great, she is going to feel so much better after she accomplishes it, and she will be healthier as a result. After a few weeks, even though she has been doing well, starts to wane. She finds reasons why she is struggling, such as feeling embarrassed at the gym because she is a beginner, feeling guilty that she is at the gym rather than with her kids, having a hard time making dishes that are both healthy and that her family will eat, ultimately feeling like everyone else is being somehow negatively affected by her change. She doesn’t think that she deserves to get healthy, because it will change things for people she cares about. She thinks others’ needs are more important than her own.

Here’s another scenario. You have always wanted to take up painting as a hobby. It has always interested you, and you commit to this year being the year that you will follow your dream. You look into equipment and supplies and maybe even invest in some. You have so many ideas and plans for the projects that you want to do, and you can’t wait to get started. But then for some reason, you just never start. It may be because you are afraid of failure, or not meeting your own expectations. It may be because you just “can’t find time”, with all the “important real life things” you have going on. Whatever the reason is, ultimately you are feeling and acting upon the idea that you do not deserve to follow your dream. If you fail, so what? The point isn’t to become an artist, it is to paint. You can’t “find” time, because you won’t make time. Face it, there is never enough time for everything no matter how busy you are. You make time for the priorities in your life. If you felt worthy of experiencing the joy of painting or any hobby for that matter it would be a priority.

It is important to realize that your resolutions are things that could improve your life, so they are worth pursuing and sticking to. You have to make them a priority for them to stick around. Below are the most commonly neglected areas of peoples lives. See if any of them may apply to you.

  • Health and fitness
  • Sleep and relaxation
  • Pursuing interests and dreams
  • Not admitting their own needs
  • Not standing up for themselves
  • Over-committing to appease others
  • Settling for a job, relationship, or lifestyle that doesn’t satisfy them

There are many others that can be added to that list, but no matter what you may be neglecting in your life, there are a few things that you  can do to make a change and to stick to it this year. Here they are:

#1. Admit to yourself that you have been neglecting certain things because you don’t feel worthy of the change.

#2.Identify the things that you have given up succeeding at in the past, or that you want to change this year. Be sure to write down or type these things out. This will make it more real for you.

#3.Choose the one item off of your list that you feel like is most important, and start with that. Make a promise to yourself that you will follow through with this one goal this year. Write down a statement saying that you promise to follow through.

#4.Focus on the first item you chose and reflect on the process daily. Remind yourself that this is a process, whatever it may be, and change will not happen overnight. Reassure yourself daily that you deserve this change, and that you are worthy of this change. Write down your positive thought statements daily if you need to. Just focus on changing your behaviors and your way of thinking in regards to your goals. Take time to journal or note what is working and what is not. Adjust your process if needed, but do not abandon it.

#5.If you ever feel discouraged, think of what you would say to your child or loved one in the situation. If your kid said to you “I don’t think I can play basketball anymore because I am not  helping enough with chores”. You would not just accept that they feel that way. You would help them find a way to make it work, and you would encourage them to keep doing what they love, because you know that they deserve to have that happiness. Apply this principle to yourself as well. Remind yourself that you making these changes will improve your mental, physical, or emotional well-being and that will improve relationships with those that you love. Always remind yourself that you  deserve to change.

If you struggle with self-worth or with feeling that you are worthy of being happy, we can help. We have trained therapists that are available to help you pinpoint your concerns, goals, and the root of the issue. Please contact us today and inquire about an assessment. We are waiting to hear from you!

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